Danny Trejo: Zombie Hunter

I'll just put this here...

MACHETE KILLS... ZOMBIES! 

Stay vigilant!

Melee Weapons: Gerber APOCALYPSE KIT

Gerber is selling a limited quantity of its APOCALYPSE KIT. Its that nifty bunch of weapons that the kid found on season 2 of The Walking Dead. If you ask me, I'd grab the hatchet first, and then the Parang (machete) second. 

Personally, I'm not a big fan of this zombie-apocalypse marketing craze.

Its hard to separate the good stuff from the snake-oil gimmickry.

The good news is that I've had a lot of good times with Gerber products. Especially in my Boy Scout years. So if they wanna join the undead craze, fine with me.

The kit comes with the following goodies in a durable carry-bag thingy:

• Gator Machete
• Camp Axe II
• Gator Machete Pro
• Parang
• LMF II Infantry
• DMF Folder
• Epic (a small serrated knife)

              Price: $349

Thing is, with just $100 bucks I could buy whole family a bunch of axes from Ace Hardware or True Value, and still have a lot of dough for other survival essentials. Like food, ammo, grappling hook, toothpaste, etc.

• Will I buy the APOCALYPSE KIT? I'm on the fence because the price is a big factor.

• Will I use the APOCALYPSE KIT if I found it somewhere? YES! They make quality stuff.

I'm sure Gerber's goods won't let you down. If you can spare the dough, go for it. Don't mind me, I'm balancing my modest budget on a wider range of survival gear for my whole family. 'Coz I'm cool like that.

REMEMBER: The best zombie killing weapons can do the job with a single blow. Extra hits suck. Time is life. 

Stay vigilant!

Thanks to my brother for the heads up on this gear!

Weapon Debate: AXE VS MACHETE

People have been arguing about this for ages, and it remains a hot topic for fellow survivalists who are preparing for the zombie apocalypse.  

You'll be counting on it to fight the living dead within arm's reach! This could be one of the most important weapons in your entire armory.  And please don't forget Rule #7: Buy Quality Stuff!



Let us now examine the two most popular melee weapons for destroying zombies: The Axe & the Machete.

I. Why do we need melee weapons? 

• guns will run outta ammo, these won't
• they can be stealthy (gunshots will attract the zombies to your location!)
• relatively simple to maintain
• cheaper than guns, easy to replace
• some can serve as handy tools for daily survival

Every survivor mush be equipped with at least ONE melee weapon.  There's no harm with carrying another one for backup as long as it won't slow you down.  

Train your loved ones to handle these in a SAFE and effective manner.  These are not toys!

II. Know your stuff!

these are the military variant

A. The Machete (and its many sisters)

These are slashing weapons with blade lengths between 33 to 60 centimeters. It is likely that these were short swords adapted to farming or agricultural purposes mostly for tropical cultures.  Its great to have one of these for cutting a path through the jungle or for harvesting various crops. This and its many wonderful incarnations have proven to be deadly weapons throughout history.  The Nepalese Kukri, Indonesian Golok, and the Ginunting from the Philippines are popular examples. 

B. The Axe

porn... for Gimli and Paul Bunyan

Its interesting that the axe may have the opposite origin compared to the machete in that it was originally designed as a tool & then adapted later on to warfare. When early man saw how well axes could mess with trees, it didn't take long for the humble wood chopper to join the sword as a weapon of war.  

III. How do you kill a zombie with these weapons?

With the AXE, you deliver a powerful blow to the top middle area of the zombie's head.  With the right swing, the impact of the heavy axe head will split the skull & destroy the undead gray matter inside.  I endorse the overhead swing to destroy zombies.  Its easy and you can practice this maneuver all day long.  

A MACHETE can destroy a zombie by cutting the head off.  You need to swing the blade in an arc towards the neck.  You can sever the head with enough practice.  The body will go down without the nasty undead brain controlling it, but you will still need to permanently solve the problem by taking destroying the brain with a second blow.  This is important because the head will still try to bite.

IV. Comparison

1. Which can do the job most efficiently?

The Axe seems to be the more likely of the two that can destroy a zombie with one hit if used properly.

2. Which is more durable?

In an undead world, you'll be doing this a lot.  Bone & tissue are tough things, especially if its on a rotting corpse.  Repetitive use will damage the machete more because the blade is long and narrow.  Some machetes are more durable than most, but even the most common hand axe was built to chop into hard substances such as wood.  

3. Which is faster and easier to use?

Speed is important, time is life.  You will certainly be outnumbered so getting things done with a faster weapon will be essential.  

Since most people do not battle with the living dead on a regular basis, it will be hard to compare both weapons.  What I do know is that the axe requires less specialized training for the average person to become proficient with it.  

With an axe, I can train your grandmother into a cool zombie hunter with only a few lessons.  Getting her to take out a zed with a machete will certainly be more complex.

V. My choice:

I must conclude that the simple one-handed axe comes out as my preferred melee weapon. Its cheap, durable, easy to obtain, and the simple training course I've been developing can give many ordinary people the edge against the living dead. 

Stay safe & vigilant!