Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Myopia and the Zombie Apocalypse

I have an admission to make. 

The Zombie Hunter wears contact lenses. 

This is a very frustrating Achilles's Heel to have WTSHTF don't you think? I think it all started when I began gluing myself to the TV watching my heroes Sir David Attenborough, The A Team, and Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

I also devoured a lot of books growing up: Britannica, National Geographic, comics, Time, Popular Mechanics, I read them all.

No regrets.

I've got myopia, in simple terms my eyes are a bit near-sighted. At about 7 yards, faces start to become fuzzy, beyond that, things are soft around the edges. Even further, things look like I'm under water. Most countries will not permit me to drive without corrective lenses.

At home I use eyeglasses (being the domesticated Clark Kent that I am), and wear my monthly disposable contacts when I go out. 

I. The Past

I've always hated wearing glasses. Having myopia also meant that I sucked at billiards, got more pimples, and it defined my identity as being part of the "nerd herd" back in high-school. I could not be a fighter pilot or astronaut, two very important childhood dreams.

I was way more physically fit compared to my fellow geeks. That muscled guy who plays Dungeons & Dragons at lunchtime? That was me. Being part of the school's Competitive Swimming Team does that to you. However we were always picked on by the football and basketball jerks who got all the girls. 

II. The Present

I've been using contact lenses since the late 1990's when they became a lot more comfortable. This has allowed me to join competitive shooting events, and I could see as far as any eagle-eyed hunter. Life has gotten really sweet. 

That is until they get a bit dry after about 10 hours of use w/c requires me to dunk them in lubricant for at least 3 hours.

I'm too scared to get LASIK Surgery. This should make my eyes perfect, assuming the doctor does not screw up on me. (Murphy's Law + laser + eyeball = chicken)

Is it safe?

Maybe when the technology is as commonplace as a routine tooth extraction...

III. The Future

When the world plunges into the dark years of the zombie plague, I will be forced to don my eyeglasses once again. I've purchased a few rugged pairs that could withstand some abuse such as falls, scratches, or sitting on them accidentally. I think I need to hoard more of them too. 

There would be nothing worse than losing your last pair in a life & death struggle against an army of walkers.

I will also need to search for fresh contacts & lubricant if I ever brave a zombie-infested mall. The shelf life on them go for about 6 years. If the zombie apocalypse lasts longer than that, I guess I'll have to resign myself to being the best four-eyed zombie hunter I could be.

We sure take a lot of things for granted. Are you prepared to live without running water, electricity, convenient medicine, and perfect eyesight? 

Hey, this is serious.
  • According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology, more than 32 million adults have myopia. 
  • Around 150 million people use corrective eye-wear. 
  • More than 38 million Americans use contact lenses.
  • I'm also worried about studies showing nearly 1 in 10 kids having nearsightedness.

Stay vigilant!

No comments:

Post a Comment