Showing posts with label melee weapons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label melee weapons. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A Zombie Hunter Valentine



Nothing says "Baby, I totally trust and love you..." to your special lady than getting her a trusty AXE.

Why an axe? Let me count the ways:
  • It is one of the best zombie killing weapons
  • The axe is very easy to use. Only basic training is required!
  • Requires minimal maintenance
  • Quite affordable & easy to find
  • They come in a wide variety to suit her discerning taste
  • It shows that you have absolute trust in her (that she will use it on zeds, and not on you)
  • Great for all kinds of yard work
           Plus many other functions! 


    The Zombie Hunter's Recipe for Romance

    A romantic dinner for two
    1 bottle of bubbly 
    2 hour back and foot massage
    1 bouquet of flowers
    +1 trusty axe that is nicely gift-wrapped

    Do all of these to score big this Valentine's Day!


    When the world finally plunges into a zombie apocalypse, she will definitely appreciate your thoughtfulness!


    Stay vigilant!

    Wednesday, November 23, 2011

    Melee Weapons: Gerber APOCALYPSE KIT


    Gerber is selling a limited quantity of its APOCALYPSE KIT. Its that nifty bunch of weapons that the kid found on season 2 of The Walking Dead. If you ask me, I'd grab the hatchet first, and then the Parang (machete) second. 

    Personally, I'm not a big fan of this zombie-apocalypse marketing craze.
    Its hard to separate the good stuff from the snake-oil gimmickry.

    The good news is that I've had a lot of good times with Gerber products. Especially in my Boy Scout years. So if they wanna join the undead craze, fine with me.

    The kit comes with the following goodies in a durable carry-bag thingy:

    • Gator Machete
    • Camp Axe II
    • Gator Machete Pro
    • Parang
    • LMF II Infantry
    • DMF Folder
    • Epic (a small serrated knife)

                  Price: $349



    Thing is, with just $100 bucks I could buy whole family a bunch of axes from Ace Hardware or True Value, and still have a lot of dough for other survival essentials. Like food, ammo, grappling hook, toothpaste, etc.

    • Will I buy the APOCALYPSE KIT? I'm on the fence because the price is a big factor.
    • Will I use the APOCALYPSE KIT if I found it somewhere? YES! They make quality stuff.

    I'm sure Gerber's goods won't let you down. If you can spare the dough, go for it. Don't mind me, I'm balancing my modest budget on a wider range of survival gear for my whole family. 'Coz I'm cool like that.


    REMEMBER: The best zombie killing weapons can do the job with a single blow. Extra hits suck. Time is life. 



    Stay vigilant!


    Thanks to my brother for the heads up on this gear!

    Wednesday, April 6, 2011

    Melee Weapons: The Ginunting


    The Philippines has a rich heritage in the use of bladed weapons for warfare. This comes from the pre-colonial tribes from across our 7100 islands that is home to a myriad of swords, knives, and the martial arts utilizing them.  It is likely that when the zombie apocalypse reaches our shores, battles will be fought & won with traditional weapons long after the last gun has run out of ammo.

    One that stands out for me is the Ginunting.  An updated version of it has been adopted as the official bladed weapon by the Philippine Marines who train in the art of Pikiti Terisa Kali.  


    the marines can handle terrorists and the living dead

    Despite advances in technology, traditional fighting skills and weapons are in constant development to give our troops the edge in the modern battlefield. 

    Vital Stats
    Blade Length: 18-19.5 inches
    Overall Length: 25-27 inches
    Material: high carbon steel blade

    The Ginunting translates to "scissors" and it gets the job done in similar fashion.  This curved design grants superior mobility and balance while maintaining its durability.  Its overall length is best suited to close-quarters combat.

    The weapon has its roots in the machete or "bolo" which is an ideal junglecraft tool.  I really admire how it gets its business done as a one-handed weapon. This frees up the other for tasks such as grappling, parrying, holding a flashlight, a pistol, or even another Ginunting.

    My own blade was acquired to augment the home defense arsenal.  There's nothing like having something that doesn't need  ammunition.  When TSHTF back in WW2, my granddad left one of these with my grandma plus a trusty .45 for protection as they fought a guerrilla war.  Good enough for them means good enough for us.

    Use Against Zombies
    It is a cutting/slashing weapon designed to attack your enemy's limbs, neck, and body at high speed.  To destroy a zombie, it is best to cut their heads off.  The design of the blade enables a skilled practitioner to dispatch a large number of zombies in a short amount of time. Just be sure to avoid the severed heads and dispose of them carefully.

    Warning: Do not attempt to destroy a zombie by striking at the skull. The weapon was not designed for this, and it will take more than a single blow.  Time is life. 


    The revival of the Ginunting in the military is proof that centuries-old combat techniques are still relevant in the battlefield.  Be it terrorists or the living dead, these will do the job.  


    Stay vigilant!


    Monday, March 14, 2011

    The Smashing Coconut Test: Hand Axe

    Prepare to get messy. You will inevitably engage in hand to hand combat with the walking dead, and there will be many situations calling for it.  You may be trapped & surrounded, trying to save ammunition, attempting a stealthy kill, or all of the above.  

    We will need effective weapons and the right technique to succeed.  Whatever your weapon of choice, we must agree that we should be able to destroy a zombie with a SINGLE blow.  If you are not sure of your own, give this a try.

    Fellow survivors, I present to you:

    THE SMASHING COCONUT TEST (SCT)

    Why the SCT:  The only sure way of destroying a zombie is to smash its brain. To do that, we should test what works and what does not.  Effectiveness is measured by the amount of effort needed to achieve brain destruction.  

    $0.12 each

    The Coconut:  Buy a few fresh coconuts, ask the vendor to get you one which is about to harden. At this stage, it has a similar density and toughness of a zombie's head.  Do not get a brown or dried coconut.  The fibers will be too tough for an accurate simulation.  

    Preparation: Place the coconut on top of a stable platform.  Be sure that there is nobody near you while you are conducting this test!  Make a few practice swings of your weapon.  Attempt to simulate an actual swing that you will use in combat. Big outlandish swings are not practical.


    The Weapon:  I have selected a hand axe manufactured by Creston purchased at Ace Hardware for Php 350.00 ($8.00).  It has a two pound head and durable haft.  I plan to keep this as my melee weapon once my shotgun is out of ammo.  I can draw my pistol with my right hand and keep the axe on my left.  With this I can engage the maximum number of undead at close range.  

    The Test:  I need to be able to destroy a zombie with one blow using my left hand.  I will use an overhead strike with that hand and see how much damage I could do. My right hand is holding a toy pistol to simulate my combat technique.  

    Technique: I drew it with my left hand from my belt, raised it up above my head in a smooth circular motion, and smashed it in a downward motion.  A zombie will be coming at me with both arms stretched, so my striking arm should be able to go right between theirs.

    Results:  I have successfully destroyed the menacing coconut with one blow!  I am very pleased with the results. As you could see, the wedge shape of the weapon splits the round object in two.  I took another swing at a second coconut and also had the same results.  To complete the test, I shot the third coconut (not shown) with the toy gun.

    Conclusion:  I am confident that the Creston hand axe is an effective close-quarters weapon.  It is light enough to wield with one hand while the other uses a firearm. I could even double the fun by using a second axe on my right hand.

    After the test, I was rewarded with a pitcher of fresh juice and a nice coconut salad c/o Mrs. Zombie Hunter.  Ain't she the best?




    Stay vigilant!





    Saturday, February 12, 2011

    Weapon Debate: AXE VS MACHETE


    People have been arguing about this for ages, and it remains a hot topic for fellow survivalists who are preparing for the zombie apocalypse.  

    You'll be counting on it to fight the living dead within arm's reach! This could be one of the most important weapons in your entire armory.  And please don't forget Rule #7: Buy Quality Stuff!



    Let us now examine the two most popular melee weapons for destroying zombies: The Axe & the Machete.

    I. Why do we need melee weapons? 
    • guns will run outta ammo, these won't
    • they can be stealthy (gunshots will attract the zombies to your location!)
    • relatively simple to maintain
    • cheaper than guns, easy to replace
    • some can serve as handy tools for daily survival
    Every survivor mush be equipped with at least ONE melee weapon.  There's no harm with carrying another one for backup as long as it won't slow you down.  

    Train your loved ones to handle these in a SAFE and effective manner.  These are not toys!


    II. Know your stuff!

    these are the military variant

    A. The Machete (and its many sisters)

    These are slashing weapons with blade lengths between 33 to 60 centimeters. It is likely that these were short swords adapted to farming or agricultural purposes mostly for tropical cultures.  Its great to have one of these for cutting a path through the jungle or for harvesting various crops. This and its many wonderful incarnations have proven to be deadly weapons throughout history.  The Nepalese Kukri, Indonesian Golok, and the Ginunting from the Philippines are popular examples. 


    B. The Axe

    porn... for Gimli and Paul Bunyan

    Its interesting that the axe may have the opposite origin compared to the machete in that it was originally designed as a tool & then adapted later on to warfare. When early man saw how well axes could mess with trees, it didn't take long for the humble wood chopper to join the sword as a weapon of war.  


    III. How do you kill a zombie with these weapons?

    With the AXE, you deliver a powerful blow to the top middle area of the zombie's head.  With the right swing, the impact of the heavy axe head will split the skull & destroy the undead gray matter inside.  I endorse the overhead swing to destroy zombies.  Its easy and you can practice this maneuver all day long.  

    A MACHETE can destroy a zombie by cutting the head off.  You need to swing the blade in an arc towards the neck.  You can sever the head with enough practice.  The body will go down without the nasty undead brain controlling it, but you will still need to permanently solve the problem by taking destroying the brain with a second blow.  This is important because the head will still try to bite.


    IV. Comparison

    1. Which can do the job most efficiently?
    The Axe seems to be the more likely of the two that can destroy a zombie with one hit if used properly.

    2. Which is more durable?
    In an undead world, you'll be doing this a lot.  Bone & tissue are tough things, especially if its on a rotting corpse.  Repetitive use will damage the machete more because the blade is long and narrow.  Some machetes are more durable than most, but even the most common hand axe was built to chop into hard substances such as wood.  

    3. Which is faster and easier to use?
    Speed is important, time is life.  You will certainly be outnumbered so getting things done with a faster weapon will be essential.  

    Since most people do not battle with the living dead on a regular basis, it will be hard to compare both weapons.  What I do know is that the axe requires less specialized training for the average person to become proficient with it.  

    With an axe, I can train your grandmother into a cool zombie hunter with only a few lessons.  Getting her to take out a zed with a machete will certainly be more complex.


    V. My choice:

    I must conclude that the simple one-handed axe comes out as my preferred melee weapon. Its cheap, durable, easy to obtain, and the simple training course I've been developing can give many ordinary people the edge against the living dead. 

    Stay safe & vigilant!



    Monday, November 22, 2010

    Survival Strategy #7: Buy Quality Stuff

    I would like to share this article on the California Knife & Tool website regarding the many downsides of buying counterfeit or fake knives.  

    If you've been to flea markets like The Ruins at BF Homes in Paranaque, Greenhills Shopping Center, or the lower levels of the Makati Cinema Square, you'll encounter many shops selling knock-offs of popular knife brands such as Smith & Wesson and Columbia River.

    Learn from my experience: these blades are proven to wiggle & eventually snap off during serious use.  Poor quality plus the bad karma for supporting piracy means the product will fail at the moment you need it most.

    The moral lesson here is to stock up only with quality goods.  This applies to everything.  Your clothes, shoes, weapons, tools, bags...  All of these are essential to survival.

    People forget that survival is also about ENDURING the crisis. It may take years & even decades for the world to recover from a global outbreak.  If you're serious about protecting your family, don't risk their lives on cheap stuff!

    Make sure your gear is built to last, 'coz warranties are void WTSHTF.




    Friday, September 3, 2010

    Shopping for Weapons

    Melee weapons can help you kill zombies.  They don't need ammo. The downside is you gotta be w/in arm's reach to kill 'em. Close enough to smell brain breath.  This sucks, but its better than nothing!

    I was at the mall today w/ Mrs. Zombie Hunter.  She was shopping for a fancy dress while I said I was going to the hardware store. 

    She lets me go, probably thinking I was up to "my silly zombie fighting thing".  I dutifully march off thinking that my loved ones will appreciate my efforts if ever the SHTF.

    *****

    Remember yesterday's bug out bag list? I evaluated two hardware stores that may cater to our special survival needs.


    click the photos to zoom in
    It was nice to see that True Value had camping equipment, 1st aid kits, solar powered lights, & a wider choice of potential melee weapons.  Ace didn't have any of those survival gear!

    Winner = True Value

    *****

    At the tool section I found a bunch of hammers, even a big-ass sledgehammer! They're not so good at killing zombies because they lack a sharp point.
    I'm not Thor.

    I did find a crowbar.  Its a handy tool but is inefficient as a weapon.  I continue shopping for something better...

    Gordon Freeman would want this, but I'll pass.


    I hit the jackpot at the Gardening Section.

    gardener VS zombies?

    I found these axes at the bottom shelf close to the floor.  Perhaps so that Gimli could pick them up easily.
    R to L: Lotus, Greenfield, American Camp Ace, Lotus and Lotus w/ belt sheath. (mobile phone for size reference)

    Lotus: Php 395
    - wooden handle, heavy axe head. plain looks, but feels solid

    Greenfield: Php 339
    - metal haft w/ a nice curved plastic grip to absorb the shock of impact, shiny.

    American Camp Ace: Php 1,549
    - ridiculously expensive because its imported from the USA, certified by the American Society of mechanical engineering standards.  so I guess its the toughest axe in the bunch.

    Lotus w/ belt sheath: Php 495
    - has a flimsy belt sheath, smallest of the bunch.  Its haft/handle is only as thick as my index finger so it don't look like this could take sustained punishment.


    My choice: Greenfield.  Its grip and haft are sturdy and seems like it could split zombie skulls all day long.  Its the cheapest too!  I'll just make my own sheath.


    *****
    I also found a garden machete from Buffalo.

    Its not the same as the traditional Machete or Bolo w/c is shorter and has a thicker blade that could do stuff like cut sugarcane, bamboo, or the arm off your daughter's suitors.

    This costs Php 369 but is not suited for combat.  I doubt it could even cut off a zombie's head.  Coz I wanna kill a Zed with one strike, the Axe comes out the best melee weapon to be found in a hardware store.

    *****

    And so today we've learned that you can buy a decent axe in the mall to serve as your first weapon against the living dead.

    Stay vigilant!